Lowrider Dave - 1994 GLS (Archer)

[Lowrider Dave]

I've been thinking along the same lines - the exhaust also knocks against it on cornering, so I'm planning to drop the tank and put a new one in and renew the hoses whilst about it. Would start doing that this week it is a) wasn't damn hot b) wasps making my garage a private party and c) a car coming to Lowrider's Garage for paintwork next week.
Never enough days...

[Robsey]

Sounds like the joint before the back box was not lined up properly during fitting.

All good fun.

I have to agree about the tank - when mine leaked, it was a tiny hair-line crack about 1/4" long. Only found it by virtue of a tiny damp patch on the upper face of the tank.

[Lowrider Dave]

Original pipes



Replaced will silicone pipes



Warren G



Knackered ends of the ARB got taken to local metal workers for a quick repair. Will now be sent off for blasting, finishing and powder coating.

[humbucker]

I recently turned to the Dark Side (I now have a Sky satellite receiver bolted to the side of my house), and an advertisement came on for an animated series called 'Archer'. Same typeface as your logo! I'm guessing this isn't a coincidence?! What's the connection?!

[Lowrider Dave]

I recently turned to the Dark Side (I now have a Sky satellite receiver bolted to the side of my house), and an advertisement came on for an animated series called 'Archer'.

Yes it is the same, as discussed somewhere earlier in this thread! No real link, just I was watching Archer and the name popped into my head when I picked the car up, so that's it - also an excuse to be 'Archeresque' in my write ups.

[Lowrider Dave]

In the words of Eric B, “It’s been a long time…”
I’ve been busy doing international spy stuff and…

…watching this:


…going here:


…reminiscing over my Senator:


..and hanging about in London:
[/url]


Archer, the man, the myth, the knackered looking Cav. Having successfully installed a voltmeter without a Fukushima style meltdown, I wanted to do more. During installation of said meter, I discovered the mess of wiring the previous owner had thoughtfully left me, plus the fag lighter was not working. A fact I discovered when I couldn’t charge my failing ‘phone that I was using to ‘googlemap’ me somewhere. This needed to be rectified. I wanted a USB port but not something that used the fag lighter. I thought of getting a Belkin charger and butchering the innards, wiring it up and having it fit snugly on the outside of the case next to the voltmeter. I ordered one and when it arrived, I killed it:



Hmm, not entirely convinced that it would work the way I wanted it to, luckily I stumbled across this ‘thing’ with a nifty inbuilt converter, 12v USB device.



I needed a way to hold it in place, so I devised a plan - I would have the USB end glued to the back of the cover using the Belkin facia that slotted in to the USB head:

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:



Exhibit A+B - the bastard hybrid that will destroy the morals of society. Or something.



This now needed to be fixerated. Nothing like measuring up a good hole…



…then giving it a good drilling.



We all like a trim hole.



I got out the hot glue gun and fixed it well in place.



The ‘thing’ screwed down - the ashtray section will not be used, because A: cancer sticks are not very clever and B: I need the space for wiring.



During all this I bought a storage facility for my all my gin*


Some wiring. Previous wiring for the voltmeter was - like Farrage - not very clever and irritated me, so I rewired it. I soldering it properly and used heat shrink tubing for that tidy look. Part of this rewiring was because, as well as the voltmeter and the USB charger, I also wanted the fag lighter to work again as I was going to use that to power the dashcam I had bought - but more on that in next weeks exciting episode.

[James McGrath]

Nice work Dave.
Certainty will be useful having a built in USB socket for charging.

[Robsey]

All very nice...

Must admit though - I do hate those plastic shrouded crimps.
I prefer standard crimps and separate soft rubber boots or heat shrink tubing.

I am a bit O.C.D. though - ha ha.

[Lowrider Dave]

OCD is fine - I admit I prefer everything to be soldered, heat shrinked and cable tied, but I needed the spade connectors as I was making the whole fag lighter section removable so I needed to be able to plug and unplug at will. Especially as I am doing all the prep work on the guts of thing indoors and not down at the garage. When finally in place, I'll be wrapping them to avoid and possible accidental touching.

[Lowrider Dave]

Wassup, ladies and gent, pound and pence, dollars and cents, lots and shrimps, hookers and pimps, this is LRD aka Chief Chinchilla Mr Moo Banzai and all that bullshit - in da house and ripping the action direct. Ably unhelped by doglet Perci P.


Since buying ’Archer’ it has, on occasion, smelt like I was driving a petrol station or had a petroleum swigging hobo living in the boot. Sudden and surprise checks of the boot reveal no such stinky homeless loon with wild popping eyes and a tinfoil hat - which was just as well, as I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to pay the rent.

Donning my best deerstalker, I deduced - though petrol-chemical behavioural analysis in connection with the results of reduction–oxidation reaction of iron and oxygen, plus taking into the account the car is fudgery 23 years old - the petrol tank maybe full of more holes than the Brexit campaign strategy. In previous episodes, viewers may remember that I have redone all the fuel pipework between the engine and the tank, thus ruling them out as the cause of the almighty stink. Checking once again that there really wasn’t a tramp in the car, I ordered a new petrol tank. Via an ordering thing.

Knowing my jack wasn’t very up and downy - it was more downy and would slowly descend over time if left holding something up - probably listening to too much Morrissey or New Chemical Romance had a permanent effect on it - I ram raided the local Hellfrauds for a 2.5 tonnes jack. Here it is in it’s ‘black bastard’ livery.


Having carefully emptied as much fuel out of the car as possible by inviting local tramps round for a drinking game, I reversed the car onto a pair of ramps, jacking it up and put some sturdy axle stands in place to hold it securely in place. This created a pleasing wedge shaped areas for me to imagine I was trapped under a car and only a cat in a robot suit could save me from the bomb (with an alarmingly obvious digital readout) that had been attached to the underside of my car for no particular reason. By now I was pretty sure the fuel fumes were not affecting me. Absolutely not. Fruitbat.


In order to get the tank out, I was forced to endure a series of poorly lit photographs of me rolling about on the floor poking the exhaust pipe and giggling. I removed the exhaust from the cat back to gain access to the tank.


I got side tracked, and checked the rear arches for corrosion - but first I had to remove some of the filth.


I spied what could be a section to be cut out/treated and colour coded it in an attempt to draw attention to it.


Red seemed to alarmist, so I sprayed areas with grey paint in a look that resembles the world's worse camouflage.


After a lot of struggling, I managed to drop one out. Arf, arf.


And this was the resulting hole.


Meanwhile some plastic was getting fiddled with - more on this abuse later…


The bay of E delivered a pleasing selection of jubilee clips which I hoped would come in useful in the fitting of the new tank. If not, I shall annoy the wife by attaching them to random bits of kitchen equipment.


An exclusive photoshoot by our roving reporter: new and old tank side by side. Due to legal reason they could not actually touch.


This, ladles and jellyspoons, is why the car stinks of petrol sometimes - some feckwit made a hole in the top of the tank! (For legal reasons I must point out it was not made by me, nor any member of the Royal Family or residents of Adelboden, Switzerland)


A bit of twistiness later and I pull this out of the old tank. The filter was inspected and cleaned off with fresh petrol.


So yeah, that’s rusty.


In an epic struggle, that will have shanties and folk songs composed and sung about for years to come, a vent nozzle broke off (well rusted) as I tried to removed the pipe.


Once, I’d dug the broken nozzle out of the vent tube, I subjected it to a flash photo before sending it back on a ferry to whence it came from.


The intense humming of evil continued as a rusted jubilee clip prevented me from moving the fuel filler pipe. A swift visit from a junior hacksaw (it still hasn’t matured despite being in my tool box for years) saw the clip cut and removed. I stamped on it’s prone body, shouting verses of angry oblique Norse poetry at it.



Here endth the lesson. Go in Peace my brethren.

[Robsey]

You my friend should be on the stage (or in a circus).
Epic scripture...

Hard to work out how or why any numpty could put a puncture wound in a concealed part of the tank skin.

Entertaining presentation of what would ordinarily be a tedious job.

[Lowrider Dave]

Why thank ye kinde sir!



If you look at the photo of the hole where the tank was, you can see the hole in the floorpan where the filter/pump would poke out - notice that it has been cut. From the fact the hose had a cable tie on it and not a clamp I can only presume it was cut to bend back to enable them, in the past, to access the pipe without dropping the tank. Edjits.

[ilovedmymantas]

You my friend should be on the stage (or in a circus).
Epic scripture...

Hard to work out how or why any numpty could put a puncture wound in a concealed part of the tank skin.

Entertaining presentation of what would ordinarily be a tedious job.

I totally agree, always a good read!

[Lowrider Dave]

At long last lifted the tank into place adn routed cable and reconnected hoses. The re-attached the centre exhaust a job made hard by two facts - I was not using a four poster and the design for fitting these were designed for children hands to fit into the gaps.


The rear box fitment was halted because to get the exhaust off in the first place I had to cut the hangers (middle one), my spares (right) were too small, so a trip to the Motor Factors produced the two on the left.


Yay - A project completed, all that was needed was to fill with petrol and I could enjoy years of stinky free driving…was I fcuk. I poured in 1L of petrol and it pissed out like a drunk with no bladder control. Words were said. Words that cannot be broadcast or repeated in public lest they cause women to faint and men to raise eyebrows.


Resisting the temptation to burn down the garage there and then, I emptied the tank into a bowl. As the tank was back in place there is very little room to move, I extracted the gauge by about an inch and looked about, the rubber ring seal had come adrift - it was an pig to get into place when I fitted it prior to installing tank. I should have checked its ability to hold liquid before fitting the tank. Hind-fricking-sight.

Knowing I’d have to drop the tank and go through all that arse ache with the exhaust and pipework I elected to repair in place. To stop the rubber ring seal twanking about, I cut it. I superglued it into place enabling me to refit the gauge without have to struggle hold it in place. I then sealed round the outside with some of this stuff:




It claims to be for sealing tanks and other permanent repairs, it goes off pretty quick and can be drilled etc. Ideal I thought, I slapped a quantity all round the joining edges of the gauge and the tank. Left it for a day and poured 1L of petrol in to test it. The following day I returned to the smell of petrol and a small damp patch (no comment) on the cardboard I put below the tank. I could see a small drip was forming from somewhere. Again, I emptied the tank, cleaned up the area and dried it. Following day I applied a ‘liberal’ second lot of gunk. Left it for a week due to work and on returning, added another 1L. Left it for a day and checked today - puddle of petrol and wet shiny outside of the tank.

This means that I seem to have an incurable leak and also have screwed up the new petrol tank and gauge sender unit due to this leak stuff stuck to it. I have two options: A) new tank and new sender unit - if I can ever find one, B) find a secondhand tank and sender unit - if I can ever find the correct one, C) scrap it and buy a ‘new' car. D) become a Buddhist monk.

[iangsi]

I was going to say use the leak sealer to fix your old tank but then remembered you snapped off that little hose spigot

[James McGrath]

This means that I seem to have an incurable leak and also have screwed up the new petrol tank and gauge sender unit due to this leak stuff stuck to it. I have two options: A) new tank and new sender unit - if I can ever find one, B) find a secondhand tank and sender unit - if I can ever find the correct one, C) scrap it and buy a ‘new car. D) become a Buddhist monk.

Defiantly D.

Is the leak sealant polyester based?
Isopropanol may help remove it.

Woohoo! 2000th post!

[Lowrider Dave]

Yes it's polyester based. I have three layers of this muck, I am worried now how difficult it would be to remove - that is if I decide to go through the ball ache of removing everything again. I have sent Tony an email to ask about his CD for sale. If the price is right, then Archer will be on borrowed time.

[Lowrider Dave]

New tank and sender gauge ordered.

[James McGrath]

Awesome. Where did you get the gauge from in the end?

[Lowrider Dave]

GPS - from one of their suppliers, only one they could find! Better not screw this one up! I can't believe I've got to do this again...4 weeks and counting without a car.

[Lowrider Dave]

Just to recap: shit happens.

New new gin storage device turned up looking like it had already done a round with Mike Tyson - on inspection these lumps and bumps were all legit and needed to be there.


My original in-tank fuel gauge (which I had transferred to new fuel tank no.1) had leaked around the new gasket. I had applied the stop leak stuff in a bid to stop it (see previous posts) and it was well and truly stuck in place with the Stop Leak stuff. But still leaked. Some kind of trades description act violation going on there. A new in-tank fuel gauge was the quickest solution and GPS tracked one down via one of their contacts. £70 later I had an original part sticker.


Luckily, a part also came with it.


I added the part to new fuel tank no.2 - sod of a job as there are only bits of plastic to grip onto and it all felt like it may suddenly break off. But it didn’t. Lady Luck was on my side, as well as Captain Bruteforcewithabitofwoodandhammer.


Whilst typing this my tea has gone cold, so I need to get a fresh one. Back in a moment, whistle or talk among yourselves…
Okay, I’m back, did you miss me? Didn’t think so.

I re-installed the pump, various connectors and things.


Hardcore tightening action



I swilled a litre of petrol in the tank to test it’s liquid holding capacity and it did not leak. This pleased the automotive gods. I put tank back on the car, a sentence that betrays the full Trump like arse of a job that it is. Filled with remaining petrol siphoned from my neighbou….LEFT IN MY EMERGENCY PETROL CAN FOR THIS VERY OCCASION and turned the key. Apart from a brief judder she burst into life - and thankfully not flames - so I drove Archer out of the garage and threw some water over the bodywork. I’m a tad haphazard like that.


The slow progress with the interior plans continue, I made holes ready for two new switches to be installed - one for DRLs and one for setting an alarm. I drilled them out, hacked away with a scalpel until the right size was achieved, primed and resprayed the switch cover.



I then ran two pairs of wires from the engine bay into the cabin and under the console and gearstick tunnel.


I re-installed the handbrake centre console which I had previously cleaned, then added the new handbrake leather surround, clipped back in the switch gear with new wires threaded through the holes ready for soldering to switches.


MOT was last Friday and passed straight through with no advisories. Naturally I was pleased and had a small celebration.


Later hoes.

[Robsey]

Excellent, if not understated news regarding the MOT.
Well done that man.

Excellent shiny new parts.
"Shineeeeey!!!

(I do wonder sometimes about your clip-art / image library - ha ha...)

[James McGrath]

Excellent work Dave and a great read as always.
I bet it was a relief to finally get that fuel tank sorted after the grief it gave you.

Good news on the MOT too.

[Lowrider Dave]

Thanks chaps. Yes, pleased to finally get that fuel tank back in and working and the clean MOT was a nice bonus. Now onwards with the plans...

[Robsey]

Now onwards with the plans...

Pray tell dear sir, what plans do you have in mind?

Although if I read a few posts back, I would darn well know.
Dash Cam,
Alarm switch,
T'other switch on centre console for the drl's.... etc